Unicorns poop cupcakes.

I: live in Colorado!/ am married to the love of my life/ have a dog of my own/ sleep but am still tired/ have way too many books/ don't eat meat/ love the beach but never go anymore/ love making crafts but don't make the time/ am most likely Buddhist/ eat vegan food whenever I can/ love cheese/ have nice abs somewhere in there/ take pictures of weird stuff/ love my friends SO much/ have an amazing family/ wish there was either more time in the day or that I didn't have to sleep/ love my life. It's amazing. :)

Email me at: lovelivelearnL3@gmail.com

I found a copy of the Twilight AU that became 50 Shades of Grey.

buildingaladder:

ryeisenberg:

ryeisenberg:

  • It’s called Master of the Universe.
  • It was originally published on Fanfiction.net (aka where fanfiction goes to die).
  • E.L. James’ pen name was Snowqueens Icedragon because of course it was.
  • Snowqueens Icedragon does not use quotation marks. 
  • She does, however, make up expressions like "my very small inner goddess sways in a gentle victorious samba" and “I can almost hear his sphinx-like smile through the phone.”
  • They spend more time filling out sex-related paperwork than they do actually having sex.
  • This is my reaction to all of the sex scenes:
  • image
  • Because the human body doesn’t work like that
  • This is my reaction to everything else:
  • image
  • Because the english language doesn’t work like that.

The 50 Shades of Grey trailer just dropped, so here’s a link to the original Twilight fanfiction that the book is “based” off of, because if you’re gonna read the book before you see the movie you might as well read it in its original format. 

I mean…

I too am hating on 50 Shades of Grey, and the horrible horribleness that it is. I tried watching the trailer this morning and it somehow didn’t have any sound, which was probably for the better since it was hard to watch and that way I didn’t waste my time or my ears listening to its stupidity.

BUT.

I must say this.

If I wrote a crappy-ass book such as 50SOG, and it turned into a worldwide “phenomenon” (as it seems to be called), and then a movie was made out of it, I’d be laughing all the way to the bank.

So good on E.L. James.

And shame on me for not writing a shitty book sooner.

Fresh cut from the garden! I have no idea if this is a hot pepper or sweet pepper…

Maybe I’ll have Husband be the guinea pig.

Fresh cut from the garden! I have no idea if this is a hot pepper or sweet pepper…

Maybe I’ll have Husband be the guinea pig.

Fresh cut from the garden! I have no idea if this is a hot pepper or sweet pepper…

Maybe I’ll have Husband be the guinea pig.

Fresh cut from the garden! I have no idea if this is a hot pepper or sweet pepper…

Maybe I’ll have Husband be the guinea pig.

During my late night Facebook perusings, I learned a girl I went to high school with, who was not allowed to watch rated R movies before she was 17-18, has been interviewed by Playboy about tantric sex because she is a sex/relationship coach (things I’d coincidentally love to be) and tantric practitioner.

My mind is blown.

Social Experiment: Reblog if you are American and know of at least one family member (distant or not) that owns a gun.

cerebralzero:

Statistically speaking if your family contains more than 3 adults there is a high likelihood you are related to someone who owns a gun because roughly 33% of Americans are firearms owners.

If we were talking about a country like Switzerland that likelihood would be even high since about 50% of their population are gun owners.

No one in my dirrect family owns any firearms(other than myself obviously) but I do have an uncle and a cousin who hunt and own firearms.

We own four… But three are just for show.

And by show I mean sitting in the basement and haven’t been looked at in years.

(Source: gretchdastretch, via livingourlovesong)

Gratuitous photo of my injury.

Gratuitous photo of my injury.

Turns out I’m not as debilitated as I thought.

I kept my hand wrapped last night and halfway through the night it stopped hurting which was quite helpful since I was picking up/holding/changing an infant throughout the wee hours.

I took the wrap off this morning to survey the damage and there’s five spots on my two fingers, the largest being the size of a dime, that will hopefully just dry up and flake off.

Let’s wish for no blisters, shall we?

I like to make steak/pork chops for my husband using a grill pan on the stove.

I sear each side, then put the pan in the oven for a few minutes at 400 degrees.

When I pull the pan out of the oven, I make sure to put the silicone mitt over the handle because it’s very hot, having just come out of the oven.

I showed my mother-in-law this technique this evening, being sure to mention the silicone mitt.

The first time I pulled the pan out of the oven to check it, I put the mitt on the handle. It wasn’t done yet so I put the pan back in.

The second time I pulled it out of the oven I did not put the mitt on the handle.

I plated the steak.

I forgot the handle was 400 degrees. 

I grabbed it to put the pan in the sink.

Thus the reason my hand is bandaged. I am a careless idiot.

I like to make steak/pork chops for my husband using a grill pan on the stove.

I sear each side, then put the pan in the oven for a few minutes at 400 degrees.

When I pull the pan out of the oven, I make sure to put the silicone mitt over the handle because it’s very hot, having just come out of the oven.

I showed my mother-in-law this technique this evening, being sure to mention the silicone mitt.

The first time I pulled the pan out of the oven to check it, I put the mitt on the handle. It wasn’t done yet so I put the pan back in.

The second time I pulled it out of the oven I did not put the mitt on the handle.

I plated the steak.

I forgot the handle was 400 degrees.

I grabbed it to put the pan in the sink.

Thus the reason my hand is bandaged. I am a careless idiot.

Growing garden!

Not pictured: parsley, green pepper (no peps yet), and squash.

We were trying to see if baby girl has a sensitivity to dairy.

Her doctor told me to stay off dairy for a week.

Last week I forgot and had Parmesan on my pasta and a chocolate pudding made with milk.

We didn’t see a huge change.

Last night I had pizza.

All night she was up every two hours to feed, get changed, and then I’d have to hold her upright or she’d fuss and cry. (I slept probably 3-4 hours.)

Looks like I have my answer. I feel like a jerk.

(The doctor’s doing a stool sample too in case my non-scientific test is wrong.)